Sunday, November 18, 2012

Intentions Clear

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.”

-Anais Nin

Life, as well as finding the perfect marriage of inspiration and time, has once again gotten in the way of productivity and purpose for this blog, my journal.
I've started a few subjects and have avoided others due to my new personal doctrine of what I won't write about here. Some of the new subjects are halfway completed while others are only a working title in progress or just a far off thought of what could be.

Finding the time to spill my thoughts to the all knowing internet gods...not so much.

It's funny that we value the concept of time so much when it's just that, a concept. It's not real or tangible. It's just a thought, an imaginary thing people have created for productivity purposes when in most instances, time and productivity aren't always the best of friends.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Side Thoughts and Far Away Places

I know this blog will not be received well by everyone.

This isn't subject matter for the masses.

But when I feel comfortable enough to share this part of my and Aurora's life with people we consider to be friends or potential friends (with or without benefits), it's me exposing a very intimate and special part of us.
Letting you in to see who we are as a couple.
Leaving us vulnerable to ridicule or ostracization.

I make a point to share this with people we meet in the lifestyle because of their curiosities in bdsm or the fact that they're fellow swingers. Because maybe our experiences or view points will help someone somewhere. Because maybe some people feel or have felt the same way before and can fully relate.

I make a point to share this with people before we make the choice to swing with people so they can better understand Aurora and myself as the open and loving couple we are.

When I do personally share this part of who Aurora and I are, people can read as much of this blog as they choose.
Or none at all.
It's their choice.

I make a point to ask their permission to write nice things about them and include them in this part of who we are: a part of my personal and completely honest "journal".

If I do write about people we swing with, I even make a point to have them read what I wrote about them as soon as it's posted to see if it sounds accurate and truthful, and whether or not I need to make any changes.
I've never gotten any negative feedback with anyone who's been intimately involved with us or on anything I've written about them since I started this blog over a year ago.

THIS is NOT a project of exploitation of anyone. Nor is it any sort of social experiment.
This blog has always been just me documenting the complete truth of my personal thoughts, myself, my wife, and anything else I choose to write about.

This blog IS me.
This blog IS my wife.
This blog IS who we are and how we feel about great people we meet and our experiences.

I pour my complete heart and soul into the things I say here.

We are nothing but completely open and honest about who we are, just as we are with anyone we want to share this blog with or the swinging and bdsm parts of our lives.

We aren't hardcore swingers, so over the past 6 years of us being swingers, we've had literally less than a handful of couples/people we've played with.
-A unicorn
-Aurora with a woman of a couple
-two couples we've full swapped with and countless offers and advances in our direction.
We are choosy.
We are picky.
We know what we want.
We know what we like.

There has been so much drama in our "swinger social life" over the past 6 months that I've communicated myself with those involved (and overly tried to with others) to a point of not even wanting to write about any of it here, and this is ALL I will write about any of it.

I'm sick of dramacrobatics.

It gets very exhausting, very quickly.
I'm just so very very tired of it.
I don't want anymore at all.
It causes stress in my marriage and messes with how I sleep.
My sanity just can't take another knock out drag out ordeal. At some point, enough is enough and it's much easier to just let it go.

Normally I let the bad roll off my back like water on feathers, but having my feelings hurt badly is not an easy thing for anyone to do to me.

I don't want to feel like have done something wrong or like I am guilty of even having this blog....or embarrassed.
I don't want to feel scared to personally share this part of our life again with anyone we could meet and want to know better, or who we want to know us better.
I don't want to feel apprehensive to want to write about anyone else in the future, and at this point, that's not even an option for me.

Sometimes, wanting to be friends with people is an effort in futility.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

No Breath

I love the fact that you enjoy to sucking my cock. But on occasion, I love the fact that don't enjoy doing it also.

Wrecking your face with just my dick.

A tight grip on your hair and taking every bit of your mouth with every inch I own, then pushing a little further in.
Looking down at your eyes watering and mascara streaming black trails on your face.
Drool cascading down your chin.
Making you keep your mouth open wide just so I can feel all of your throat.
Hearing it gurgle in between your own moans.
Hearing you choke as my cock triggers your (somewhat) infrequent gag reflex.

I try for this and I love how it feels.

Throat convulsions undulating around my head.

Relentlessly fucking your face as I watch you struggle to keep it in your mouth.
Just as I've taught you: never remove it without permission.
Breathing heavily through your nose.
You want to tear away for that deep chest filling gasp.


You do very well with this instruction, and are getting better every time I enter your mouth.

I love the fact that you enjoy to sucking my cock. But on occasion, I love the fact that you don't enjoy doing it also.

Scratch that.

Aurora, you aren't fooling anyone with that sopping wet mess between your legs when I claim your mouth as just a hole to make my cock feel good.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Peace of Mind

People are the dichotomous creators and destroyers of their own happiness and misery.

We have to always reach for blue skies and follow our rainbows to wherever they kiss the land, never forgetting to try and enjoy the scenery along the way.

The longer we idly stand by as taciturn statues, the harder it becomes to destroy misery and create happiness. Or easier to destroy happiness and create misery: depending on what side of the coin lands up and how many times we flipped it to try and make it land how we wanted.

We can't ever fret the setting sun, because as quickly as it falls, it will rise again, sometimes on new horizons and with bluer skies.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Older Crowd

Swingers come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. In fact, they are your everyday people and as such, are a pleasant mixture of any of the aforementioned adjectives.
I've written before about my and Aurora's preferences to play with people out own age. Everyone in this lifestyle has their own preferences to certain people. Some don't care what age they play with, but most profiles you read give a desired age range.
Our swinger profile isn't any different.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with people who are older. In fact, I've met some very good looking women in their 40s and 50s. We will happily share a drink or talk with anyone we meet of any age, but Aurora and I prefer to stick to playing with people our own age. Mid 20s, but will have gone up to early 40s before.

Our outlook on sticking with our preferred ages is that we are fairly young (late 20s) with respect to the typical ages when people tend to start swinging...usually mid 30s or so. We want to stick to playing with people closer to our age because we fully intend to be doing this together until we are deemed entirely too senile to drive to the bars! There will be plenty of time in the next 10 or 15 years to enjoy the sexual company of the older crowd when we become part of said crowd. For now, we'll remain happy to stick with people more considered to be our peers.
After all, we only get so many trips around the sun, so why not enjoy the intimate company of the younger crowd while we can?

We have turned down people from the older crowd before.
I hate doing it.
Not because we find them unattractive, but because I feel like it makes them feel "too old". Which to us, they are. :-/
It seems easier to let them down when they are closer to our parents' ages.
I don't have any problem telling other swingers that we don't find them attractive or that our personalities aren't meshing how we would like in order to take things to the bedroom because being open and honest is how Aurora and I operate.
Life flows so much easier when your cards are just laid upon the table for those you choose to see them. It's always all of our cards, or none at all. No need for tricks up the sleeve.

It just seems so much harder to tell someone nicely that they are too old for us versus telling them outright that we don't share the mutual attraction.
Seems backwards, right?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012


It's a weird feeling to not know where you stand with a couple in regards to swinging.
Initial contact leads to lots of communication.
You meet.
You have a good time.
Conversation becomes like pulling teeth.
Wishy washy attitudes and apparent blow offs.
It doesn't seem that difficult to speak your mind and just be open and honest.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Why We Swing

After I'm done writing my posts for this blog, my next task is to read, re-read, edit, nit pick my wording, read, edit some more and finally settle with something that I can live with. Then read it when it's posted only to nit pick it some more.

If this were pencil and paper I would burn holes through the sheet from erasing so much.

My next task is to find an appropriate picture or two from the all knowing Internet gods and slap it somewhere amongst the words. Sometimes this takes a while, sometimes not. I'm a very dirty birdy and usually keep erotic black and whites on my phone.
Never before have I found a picture that made me want to write something just by virtue of seeing it. But, never before have I found a picture so beautiful that spoke to me so deeply and immediately reaffirmed a reason.
I saw the following picture and immediately thought "THIS was exactly why Aurora and I swing."

I can't help but feel my heart overflow when I see this picture because it holds so many beautiful elements. Ever since I found it a few days ago, I have purposely pulled it up from the camera roll on my iPhone to just gaze at it like a WWII soldier looking at the locket his girl gave him before went overseas to fight.

It's not the oral sex I stare at. My focus is the top couple and the holding of their hands during their mutually received pleasure.
Their apparent connection to each other
The clear and present intimacy
Her head on his shoulder
The happiness on her face
The togetherness
The love

I see ourselves in this picture.
There's been numerous instances while swinging on the same bed with another couple that we have reached to touch each others hands.
Or hair
If only just skin

Just to briefly reconnect with the person you love more than anyone in the world while you're with another.
To touch your best friend
Your life mate

A simple grazing of fingers tips can be electric in the right moments.

Aurora and I don't swing to "spice up" our relationship.
It's not needed.
We have been hot for each other since day one and have barely slowed down due to having a child. Pregnancy didn't even affect our sex life all that much.
Aurora and I swing, not because it adds "spice" to our relationship.
We do it because it's something else that bonds us close and it's something else we can share together. Swinging is something extra we have added to the rock solid foundation of our almost 9 year relationship.
We do it because we see jealousy as a waste of mental energy.
We do it because we believe there is more to life than only one sexual partner.
We do it because we refuse to accept monogamy as the only viable option for happiness.
We do it to make new friends with people we like. People we want to call friends first, and fuck buddies second.
We do it because we love seeing each other enjoy the sexual company of someone else.
Seeing each other experience bliss.
The compersion.
The connection.

No matter where we're at or who we're with, as long as Aurora and I are together, we will always be home.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Ginger Snap(ped)

No, not this type of Ginger

I've been wanting to write about the following for a few weeks now, but like most the time when I want to write about something, time constraints get in the way. It's a constant battle of finding the right collision of inspiration and availability.

Figging: I brought this up to Aurora a few years ago when she was pregnant but it's an aspect of kink we had yet to try out since then. I had happened across the art of figging a few times over the course of the past few years while researching bdsm practices, particularly spanking and caning.
Turns out, figging (or gingering) has its origins in a few places. One, the gingering term, was used in equestrian practices by places a skinned ginger root into a horses anus to make them carry their tails well in show. The other term, figging, bears its origins in Victorian England where caning was a very common punishment practice. Similar to the application with a horse, a skinned ginger root finger was placed into the caning recipients anus. The intense burning sensation kept them from clenching their butt cheeks during punishment.
This type of Ginger

Now, I'm a bit of a sexual sadist at heart and really enjoy watching my wife squirm in discomfort by my own hand or otherwise, so this practice intrigued me.
During one trip to the grocery store, while in the produce aisle collecting peppers and cilantro for a meal I would be making, I noticed ginger in the same area and bought some as well. I didn't get to use the ginger for a few days and spent that time brushing up on what I had read about in years prior.
Saturday evening arrived and after we had put our child to bed for the night, Aurora and I went back downstairs to have a little fun with each other. I didn't want to jump right in with ramming a ginger root in her ass because we had a less than pleasant experience with a warming lube during anal sex in the beginnings of our relationship. Sadist or not, I knew it would likely be too intense for Aurora so for the first time playing with ginger, I chose to try the other application method, on her clit.
I took the vegetable peeler to the root and made 1/8" slices. The root now resembled thick coins. I then used one of my paring knives to whittle out an indented groove that would nestle her clitoris.

*Hand washing after touching peeled ginger is a must. You don't want to get the oils in your eyes!*

While sitting on the couch, I had Aurora present her backside to me by laying bare bottomed across my lap as if she were going to receive a spanking. No spanking this time, just a well lubricated steel butt plug being inserted in her ass. (thanks again Boris, we love your craftsmanship!!) Butt plug well seated, and making itself well known where it was inside her, Aurora turned over and reclined into the couch corner so I could begin with the ginger. I chose to wear some vinyl gloves as to not spread any unwanted ginger oils to other body parts.....yet at least >:)
I spread Auroras beautiful pussy lips apart to expose her clit and placed one of the whittled out ginger coins over her sensitive organ. Auroras anatomy allowed for me to simply let go of her spread lips and they held the root in place themselves. It doesn't take long for the ginger to make itself known. Within minutes the oils began working and Auroras breathing became heavier and deeper. Doing my job as her Dom, I continued checking on her and asking how her first experience was panning out. She of course, was thoroughly enjoying the burn. The burning sensation with ginger slowly intensifies into something wonderful. Aurora kept flexing her thighs and moving her hips as I toyed with the root coin over her clit. I love seeing her squirm! I chose not to restrain my wife for this session as I didn't want her feeling too helpless with this new experience. I did however order her to not touch the ginger if it got too intense. She always follows orders well, such a good little sub.
The burning sensation only lasts about 20 minutes or so. After the sensations died out, I made a very thin sliver with a new piece of ginger about half the size of a wood nail and squeezed the piece harshly between my gloves fingers to release more oils. This time I gently pulled back her clitoral good and placed the root sliver directly on her clit while her hood held it securely in place. Minutes later, much more intense results. The burning sensation in to oils create an intense desire to "itch" the afflicted area for any sort of relief....translation: it makes you want to cum!
Just to tease further, removed one glove and began fingering her pussy hard. It's always extra sensitive for her getting fingered when a large steel plug is well seated in her ass. Makes for far less room inside her pussy!
Sometime later, with the oils still working full force on Aurora's clit, I remove the piece from beneath her hood and licked her soaking wet pussy for a very long time. I could feel the oils working on my tongue and in my mouth as well but it didn't bother me at all. We eat sushi frequently and I'm not unaccustomed to the strong ginger taste at all. After eating Aurora's pussy for a long while, I then used her wonderful eroscillator to make her cum, and she came very hard. Completely understandable after being teased for a long time! We had some amazing sex on the couch afterwards. Who knows how many times she came while I fucked her (because it's always a lot) but this time it seemed like every other minute she was climaxing. I did pull out for an enormous cum shot that was sprayed all over her front side: all the way from her face to her very sensitive pussy.
Aurora and I talked about the experience and she loved it! We ended up playing with the ginger again a week later, but not to the extent as the first session because I had made a very makeshift bondage table that I was eager to tie her to: another story for another time. I carved another sliver of the root, only this time a bit thicker and longer. she assumed her spanking position across my lap and I chose this time to see how the oils worked in her ass. With gloved fingers I squeezed the root, releasing more oils and inserted it. I chose to only make a small insertable piece. Something that I could easily remove since I was holding it, and something not so big as to completely overwhelm my submissive wife with a full finger of the root for her first anal ginger experience.

Baby steps.

The oils of the root began working almost instantly in her ass. Still bare bottomed across my lap, Aurora was a squirming and writhing mess! The oils proves to be a bit much for this part of her body and I removed the ginger piece after only 10 minutes, still, the oils continued to burn....hee hee!
The anal experience wasn't terrible for Aurora, but not totally dismissible for future applications. Still, not nearly as enjoyable as when placed on her clit, according to Aurora. But like I steps.
I will definitely be using ginger again during playtime. Although, I will likely not give her any heads up now that I know she can handle it :)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


A shared link for this site came across the newsfeed of my vanilla Facebook earlier today and I couldn't stop laughing. It's like the filthiest mad lib that could ever be created.
I had to post this!

“When he removed his devil's bagpipe from my rusty sherif's badge, he was pleasantly surprised to see a corn-eyed butt snake staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the footlong fudge bullet off his chorizo howitzer. With my roast beef platter now much like a bulldog licking piss from a thistle, he thought it was time to start probing my turd cutter. Is now the time to tell him I really need to cut a Mr. Hanky, I wondered? My gaping slime hole was trembling like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer. The mixture of sewer trout and Da Vinci load in my mavis fritter created the delicious sphincter sauce that he was so fond of. It was bliss having his one-eyed milkman slid inside me again; stuffing my ladytown with a footlong fudge bullet just didn't get my spunk dungeon splurging like it used to."

Here's one more for shits and giggles:

"The unrelenting orgasms from his bald avenger fucking my shame portal made me come so hard, I began sweating like a pregnant nun. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his thrill drill made my minge monsoon ooze like a slavering dog. Leaving my panties sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his timed slimer rammed deeper into my other vagina. It was bliss having his Vince cable slid inside me again; stuffing my cum dumpster with a 15" spiked vibrator just didn't get my chlamydia canal surging like it used to. With his timed slimer hammering deep into my split peach, the sensation of his womb raider smashing my cervix made me quiver like a rat on acid."

Side note: 50 shades of grey is one book that I will likely never be reading. Aurora feels the same way. We can find better smut on the internet, or simply continue to live our own. All the women she works with just simply rave about how hot this series is and how they wish their husbands would pull some of the things the main character does. If only they knew how my and Aurora's sex life actually functioned!

Saturday, August 18, 2012


When I first stared researching and learning about bdsm I couldn't help but notice certain things: Honorifics.
I notice the same themes in erotica pieces too.
Submissives and slaves referring to and calling their dom(mes) particular names: Master/Mistress, Madam, Daddy, Lord, etcetera. Sometimes with an extra something attached behind those titles, Lord ____ or Master____. Usually a person's name or something clever, dark, and macabre. For myself, I didn't like the titles and to this day, I still really don't care for them at all.
For me to refer to myself as Lord or Master Tomas seems almost vain, self serving, and borderline pompous. For others, adopting those titles is just fine, but I refuse to have Aurora or any other play partner call me such things.

Aurora called me Sir during a play session once when we had started exploring our kinks. I can't remember if it was after the session had ended, or during, but I told her I didn't care for that title either. I thought about it more and more over the next few days and realized that I actually did like her referring to me as Sir. No other title struck me as suitable or as something that I enjoyed hearing.

-Lord: I am no Lord, which to me has royal connotations like "Your Highness".
-Daddy: I am a parent to my child only. Like I said before, these titles are fine for other people, but not for me. Someone other than my son, especially someone I am fucking, calling me Daddy just seems outright weird to me.
-Master: I am no Master either. I may be proficient at certain aspects of bdsm and over time, hone my skills further, but I am no Master of anything or anyone.

For some reason or another I don't even like being called Sir at work or in any other aspect of my life. At times when I'm on the job, workers will call me Sir. I understand that it's a term of respect, but usually it's coming from men who are at least 10 years my senior. To me, I should be the one calling them Sir simply because they are older, and regardless of my superior position to them. It's just how I was raised.
And I do, I hand out terms of respect to older people as I see fit.

Now as for Aurora calling me Sir, I've come to love it actually and it's developed into a turn-on. It's not all the time or in public, but mostly in the bedroom and more often than not. I adore it from her now. She often answers me with a "yes, Sir" or "no, Sir". During a play session I almost always hear something like, "please Sir, make me cum!" and "thank you, Sir." when I've granted her the orgasm(s) she so desperately wanted. If I want to hear it from her and don't, a quick tug of her hair or collar reminds her and she obliges.

I still don't want to be called Master or Lord fillinthesecondarywordaswhateversillynameyoucanthinkof. Nor will I ever require a secondary play partner to refer to me that way either.
A secondary partner did once on a swing date and it honestly felt weird. I told her that she didn't need to all me sir, and I didn't hear it again after that. She had heard Aurora call me Sir plenty of times during play, and I suppose she thought that's what I wanted to hear?

When Aurora and I swing, we don't have many rules out of the ordinary:
1) We play together, no exceptions.
2) We kiss the other people. (Some people don't and I can't understand why not, but, to each their own.)
3) Condoms are always required.

Aurora and I communicate about anything and everything: What we liked or disliked and if anything bothered us during an evening of swinging.

During one swing date, Aurora out of sheer habit, called the other man, Sir. It happened in the same manner as it would with me: He was fucking her good and she was begging for things.
To date, this is the only instance that the little green monster named jealousy made an appearance in me during swinging. I didn't blow up or make a scene. It didn't even affect me terribly bad, but I didn't care much to hear my submissive, my wife, my love, call another man Sir.
I know, I know...It seems odd. Of all things to get remotely jealous of when another man is balls deep in your wife beside you, to be jealous of her calling him Sir, right?
After the night of our tryst with the other couple ended, like normal, we talked about things. I told Aurora about my tiny green flair of jealousy and understood that it was out of habit for her to call him such due to the situation. Even though an apology wasn't needed, she still did for calling him that and agreed to not let it happen again.
We are all allowed our own silly requests during swinging or any intimate involvement with other people.

-My silly request was for Aurora to call only me, her Sir.
-Auroras silly request was for me to not play footsie with another woman. Something that she and I do on a regular basis while lying in bed together or sitting on the couch.
Aurora had seen me do the same with a female play partner once after a full swap and had a small green flair herself. Like my request for her to not call anyone else Sir, I completely understood and respected her request to not play footsie with another woman.

We both continue to obliged each others requests to this day. Comfort and respect for all involved is a requirement and we must honor even the smallest of requests for things to go smoothly as usual.